Response to Opinion Essay on Blogs

Hi Laura,

I've looked at your opinion essay and have decided that you have a really good understanding of the structure of an opinion essay. I'm glad. That's the most difficult part to teach.

So that you get feedback on your work today I am going to copy and paste it twice. The first time I will present it with my comments in brackets ( )'s. The second time I will try to smooth it out a little so that it (perhaps) expresses what you meant a little more fully.

Your work today with comments:

Yes blogs are helpful in English class. They waste less paper and therefore creates (creates?) less pollution. They are easier for the teacher and the student. Better for spelling and they make it easier to read (an incomplete sentence)
Blogs are more environment smart (usually we say 'environmentally friendly') because they use less paper therefore (something seems to be missing here) less pollution. Kids these days get an assignment on paper write it out on paper (you repeat 'on paper' twice) and then throw it out. All they are doing is killing trees and the environment. Then with blogs the kids can add their teacher on their blogs the teacher can post the assignment on the blogs and kids can type away (this last sentence looks like two put together) . Its (It's=it is)way more efficient.
Blogs are also make it easier on everyone. Since kids these days love technology they can relax in their chair knowing that they know what their (they're=they are) supposed to do. So in a way it helps out everyone.
Teens these days have very messy writing and puts stress (which puts stress) on the teacher trying to read it. So with blogs it makes the writing neat and fixes the mistakes. Without blogs there is messy writing and spelling mistakes. stress on everyone. With them not as much stress. (Both of the last two sentences are incomplete)

So in my opinion blogs help everyone. Without them we're a train wreak (wreck). I love blogs because the (they?) help.

Your work today, with suggestions.

After using blogs for a couple of months, I believe that they are helpful in English class. They waste less paper and therefore create less pollution. They are easier for both teachers and students to use. I have also discovered that blogs help students with spelling and are easier to read for everyone.
Blogs are more environmentally friendly because they use less paper and therefore create less pollution. Kids these days get an assignment on paper, write it out, and then throw it in the garbage. All they are doing is killing trees and filling up garbage dumps. A better way of learning is students can add their teacher to their blog and their teacher can post assignments for the students to type away. It's way more efficient.
Blogs make it easier on everyone. Since kids these days love technology, they can relax in their chair knowing that they know what they're supposed to do. So in a way, blogs help out everyone.
Teens these days have very messy writing which puts stress on the teacher trying to read it. With blogs, however, writing is neat and students can edit their work to fix mistakes. Without blogs there is messy writing and spelling mistakes, causing stress on everyone. With them, students won't experience as much stress.
So in my opinion blogs help everyone. Without them we're a train wreck. I love blogs because they help.

____

P.S. I still feel like you have a really good sense of how to do this. I'm hoping you won't mind helping Kylie and some of your classmates to do this.